Lessons in Moving

Upon walking through the arrivals sliding glass doors in Pearson’s airport, I felt the air being sucked from my lungs.  This time, the experience was less acute than back in January.   Four months into it and I’m still shocked that I live in Canada.

Returning to Toronto from my first trip back to the states showed me that while most of our belongings were unpacked long ago, my emotions have remained in a box.

Less than a week later, I ended up in the ER with James Robert.  Alone with him in the waiting room for 5 hours (poor Mat was rushing back from a weekend trip) I was hit with the same physical sensation.  Gratefully, James Robert was OK.  But I was no longer able to deny how painfully I miss Charlotte.

This transition has many positive attributes.   I’ve met wonderful people whom I hope will become close friends.  I’ve connected with resources for mothers that exceeded my expectations.  And I’ve enjoyed staying home with James Robert more than words.

But moving is hard.  Heck, lets be honest, change in general is hard for me.  I miss my friends, I miss familiarity, I miss our doctors who made me feel safe and cared for, I miss my house (can I still call it that even though someone else is currently remodeling it beyond my recognition?).

Acknowledging the difficulties along with appreciating the positives of this adventure presents a more complete picture, not only to the audience reading this, but also to myself.  It’s funny that I verbalized my feelings of missing home many times without actually processing them. 

So here I am, four months into our adventure unpacking the most difficult box. Tears yes.  But this is what it’s all about. This is the part when life is embraced. This is the part where hope bubbles up. This is the part that growth accelerates.  This is the part when lessons are revealed:

-Put yourself out there. A. Lot.

-Authenticity is contagious. 

-Anonymity has value; there are hundreds of chances for first impressions and clean slates.

-Sitting in stillness provides respite from change.

-Your car, your house, your wardrobe, your job may change… so much so that you feel your identity is blurred. Comfort is internal.

-Be your own best friend (until you make some in your new home).

-FaceTime is vital for survival

I’m tucking these lessons away.  Next time I unpack boxes, perhaps the load will be a bit lighter. 

May 2015

Warmth!  Waxing and waning--but rewarding nonetheless.  Endless buds and a pervasive wafting of lilac greeted May’s days.   We had our most active month in Canada yet.  

We had visitors and we visited; birthdays were celebrated and farmers markets were discovered.  Oh, and we officially dubbed it picnic season and endeavored to eat outside as much as possible. It was a great month. 

A Note on Motherhood

"Happy Mother's Day," was whispered in a hushed and giddy toddler voice as I rolled over on my pillow this past Sunday.  And I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. 

In addition to the many things that changed in our lives in the past few months, perhaps the biggest change for me has been deciding to push the pause button on working outside the home.

Being a stay at home mom is a change, a leap of faith, a vocation unlike any other—this rich and sweet season of my life is perhaps myopic in focus, but endlessly tender. 

While sitting at my desk, I used to ache for these moments-- the only-mama-can-help-moments, the growing-up-before-your-eyes-moments, the muddy-knees-moments, the bleary-eyes-just-after-a-nap-moments. 

I vowed to slow down.  I vowed to pick up my camera more.  I vowed to cherish the days of watching childhood unfold.

And now the moments are here.  It was as we celebrated mother’s day this year and I heard that little voice on my pillow that it was pushed to the forefront of my mind.

There are days when homesickness feels like a tangible cloud.  But there isn’t a day that I would change my new focus. 

I hold these moments dear.  I cherish their simplicity.  I document them because in harder times, these moments of motherhood will be my harbor. 

To my own mother, who always allowed me to feel her joy in being mom and to the other wonderful mothers in my life, I am so thankful for your example.  For it may be the hardest job in the world, but the moments of joy are unparalleled. 

xx

Spring/Summer Reading Recs

Reading begets reading.  Or at least that's my experience.  I've kept the ball rolling on my new years resolution to read more, with wonderful recommendations from family and friends.  I'm sharing these to pay it forward.  If you're looking for something to pick up this spring/summer, I'd recommend any of these recent reads (especially the Nightingale, I read all 400+ pages in a few days).

1) The Nightingale
2) Simplicity Parenting
3) The Invention of Wings
4) The Woman I Wanted to Be
5) The Light Between Oceans

Niagara Falls + Toronto Bucket list

We made a quick trip to the Canadian side of Niagara Falls this weekend.  It was impressive, beyond our expectations.


It prompted us to think about the other items on our TO bucket list.  To keep us honest, I thought I'd post a few of the things we hope to do and see. **

Summer Toronto Bucket list:
-Blue Jays Game
-Casa Loma
-CN Tower
-Sugar Beach
-Toronto Islands
-Riverdale Farm
-Scarborough Bluffs 

**to all family and friends who may care to join, we'd love to have visitors. perhaps this will entice you!!

Toronto Cherry Blossoms in High Park

Spring has sprung and it is truly beautiful.

Today, on a bright and sunshine-filled morning, James Robert and I met some new friends and wrestled the crowds in Toronto's High Park to take in the majestic Cherry Blossoms.




We had the best kind of fun being tourists in our new city.  We snapped a million pictures, ate a hot dog lunch in the park (well I did... he ate his pre-packed lunchbox) and laughed a lot.  It was the kind of morning you want to bottle up and save.

April 2015

April was a month of slowly unthawing.  We welcomed the first hints of spring, and not a moment too soon. Between birthdays and Easter,  April was full of good food and celebrations.  All of the ice has finally melted from the lake, so a whole new host of activities are steps away.  We can't wait to see what this place is like in the warmer months!